Growing up in Alabama, my family didn’t talk a lot about “mental health” and if I told you where I grew up, you’d think that I probably should have! Mental health is incredibly important, and many in our community are facing challenges in this area. Jesus taught us to love God with our entire “heart, soul, and mind” (Matthew 22:37-40), reminding us that our minds need to be healthy and devoted so we can serve the Lord effectively. Let’s address one of the biggest issues impacting our country today: loneliness, and then explore how a strong men’s ministry can make a difference.
The Problem of Loneliness
In today’s world, loneliness has become a silent epidemic, particularly affecting young adults. In May 2023 the U.S. Surgeon General declared loneliness a national public health crisis, impacting approximately half of U.S. adults, with young adults (ages 18-29) among the most vulnerable.1 A 2024 poll revealed that nearly one in three Americans experiences loneliness weekly, with those aged 18-34 being the most likely to report feeling lonely every day or several times a week.2 This isolation isn’t just a fleeting emotion; chronic loneliness is linked to severe health issues, including cardiovascular disease, cognitive decline and dementia. Shockingly, it’s considered more dangerous than obesity, alcohol abuse or hypertension, highlighting its profound impact on overall well-being. Studies have also shown that loneliness reduces the average lifespan, equivalent to that of smoking 15 cigarettes a day!3 How crazy is that?
But why are young adults so susceptible to loneliness? Several factors contribute, including increased social media use, decreased face-to-face interactions and the unique challenges of navigating emerging adulthood. As young adults transition from adolescence to adulthood, they often face instability in relationships, careers and living situations, leading to feelings of isolation and disconnection.
Let’s talk science for a moment: Neuroscience offers valuable insights into the effects of loneliness on the brain. Studies show that social isolation can lead to lowered brain mass, particularly in the prefrontal cortex, the region responsible for social behavior. This can impair one’s ability to accurately assess social interactions, creating a vicious cycle of isolation. The good news is that the brain possesses neuroplasticity, the remarkable ability to rewire itself. By engaging in socially enriched environments and nurturing relationships, individuals can reverse the negative consequences of isolation and promote healthier brain function.4
The Importance of Hesed in Men’s Discipleship
In the face of this epidemic, ministries can play a vital role in fostering a sense of community and combating loneliness among adults. Drawing from Biblical principles, we can find guidance in the concept of hesed, a Hebrew word that encompasses love, kindness, mercy and unwavering loyalty. Hesed is more than just a feeling; it’s a commitment to actively seeking the well-being of others.
Throughout Scripture, we see examples of God’s hesed toward humanity and the importance of hesed in human relationships. From God’s covenant with Abraham to Jesus’s sacrificial love on the cross, hesed is at the heart of God’s character. God describes Himself to Moses in Exodus 34:6-7 (ESV) as the Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty…” God’s commitment to Israel was rooted in His love and covenant with them. Similarly, we are called to extend hesed to one another, creating communities where individuals feel valued, supported and connected. Jesus echoed selfless love when He used the word agape in Matt. 22:37-40 (ESV), “And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets’.” Hesed and agape are from God to serve as relational glue in God’s family. Jesus taught that this kind of unity and agape for one another shows the world that we belong to Him (John 13:35).
So how’s your men’s ministry doing in building a sense of hesed or agape?
Practical Steps for Ministry
Here are some practical steps to cultivate hesed-filled communities:
- Host regular meals to build joy and community. (Jesus did this regularly to foster conversations.)
- Make relationship-building a centerpiece of the small group Bible study. (Small group discussions are a critical part of processing scriptural truth. Also, when setting up a room, arrange chairs so that guys can make eye contact with each other. Think circles instead of rows.)
- Foster intentional conversations where guys can be vulnerable, share weaknesses and be accountable to others. (When people feel understood, they are less likely to feel isolated. Plus, being vulnerable can lead to deeper connections and trust.)
- Build a sense of belonging in the church and spiritual maturity through relationships with other generations. (Thriving churches intentionally foster intergenerational connections through worship, mentoring, and serving.)
- Offer service opportunities within the church and the broader community. (Help your men serve together! Serving helps with relational connections and spiritual health.)
God’s plan for His family can be trusted. By embracing the Biblical principle of hesed and implementing these practical strategies, men’s ministries can create vibrant communities where guys feel valued and connected. In doing so, we can combat the epidemic of loneliness and empower our men to thrive as followers of Christ.
- Office of the Surgeon General. “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community. May 2023. ↩︎
- American Psychiatry Association. “One in Three Americans Feels Lonely Every Week.” January 2024. ↩︎
- PLoS Medicine. “Social Relationships and Mortality Risk.” July 2010. ↩︎
- Journal of Psychiatry and Brain Science. “Affective Neuroscience of Loneliness.” December 2022. ↩︎
State Missionary Larry Hyche serves as men’s ministry strategist for the Alabama Baptist State Board of Missions in Prattville. He may be contacted at 1-800-264-1225, ext. 2280, or (334) 613-2280, [email protected].
